Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
