Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Randomize
