Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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