I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
