Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
