Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
