You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
