He is such a slut. More and more my type.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
