guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Randomize
