My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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