Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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