You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
