I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I am naked and annoyed.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
