Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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