I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
