When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Randomize
