is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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