Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
