yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I supernannyed him into submission
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
