the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Randomize
