Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
