that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
