so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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