just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
