he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
