As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
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