i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
