Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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