I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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