The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
