I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
