If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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