She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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