New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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