Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
