I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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