what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
