guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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