youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
