I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
