she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
