Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
