And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
