took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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