So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
