You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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