You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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