capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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