i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
