Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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